A big box of books arrived this past weekend from Darryl and The Mountaineers. I confessed a couple weeks ago to having a hard time accepting gifts. One of the books I had chosen was Brendan Leonard’s ‘Bears Don’t Care About Your Problems'. With leadership, there are always plenty of serious things to talk about. But I didn’t want these random thoughts to always be serious. It’s also important to have fun. Since it’s the day after Thanksgiving and I hope you’re doing something not serious, I thought I’d share some funny stuff from that book.
Full transparency: just flipping through it and reading an essay here and there had me literally rolling on the floor. Not that you have to or will find any of these as funny, but you might. Just in case, I’d suggest finding a big open space before you continue reading.
Ten Basic Rules For Adventure
1. Don’t die. Prior to his attempt on K2 in 1995, American climber Rob Slater famously told a climbing magazine, “Summit or die, either way I win.” He summited, but died on the descent. To each their own, but if I were to adapt Slater’s quote to reflect my own ideals, it would be something more like: “Summit or live another several years to eat deep-dish pizza, either way I win.”
Ten Ways To Talk About Powder Skiing
5. Exaggerate. “It was so good, my friend Eric literally drowned in pow. I mean, he died. On the lift line under Chair 8. I could have gone back up to look for him, but sorry, that’s just how seriously I take powder days. Sorry, Eric.”
Twelve Ways To Make Friends At The Campground
10. Play some music on a stereo. You like your music, so everyone else probably will, too.
How To Pack For A Big Trip
Don’t worry about food. Another cool thing to do last-minute is remember that oh, yeah, you might need some food for the trip. Head to the grocery store at 11 p.m. and just grab a bunch of random stuff. Better yet, pack little or no food, and don’t tell anyone until you’re out in the wilderness somewhere, preferably dinnertime. When everyone else is starting to cook, say something like, “So, could I eat some of your food? I was going to bring some, but I just ran out of time.”
And last but not least, also along the lines of food…
Less Serious Accidents in North American Mountaineering 2017
WRONG COFFEE PACKED
Wyoming Wind River Range, Cirque of the Towers
On September 5, two climbers (male, 26 years old; female, 26 years old) left their tent to begin preparing for a climb of the Northeast Face when they discovered one of them had accidentally purchased and brought decaffeinated coffee. The climbing trip was aborted.
Analysis: Proper assessment of conditions can be the difference between life and death on a climb, and these climbers showed appropriate prudence in their situation. Although a decaffeinated ascent of one of the Fifty Classic Climbs would have been quite savage.
There are plenty of times I’m grateful for humor. If you found any of those amusing or that you did indeed roll on the floor laughing, I’d encourage you to get or gift a copy to someone if you or they may also be grateful for humor. Happy Thanksgiving!